For Sexism, Press 4

Being the pessimist that I am, you would think nothing could surprise me…

There are four individuals in my office: three males (Mr. Difficult, Buck Buck, and myself) and one female (the Veggie Pirate).^* Our phone system screens all calls ("Press one for Buck Buck, press two for Mr. Difficult…"), because the nature of our business involves so very little interaction with the general public. Truly, it is a very rare week that a single cold-call rings into our office, but they do happen occasionally.

We started to notice a pattern with the random calls. The number is completely unscientific, but I would surmise that 85% of the cold-calls press number four: Veggie Pirate. (Her number is last due to order of hiring.) The first few times, we thought little of it, but a year and a half later, it is very obvious that she is being singled out. The guys' names are fairly masculine names (though a caller could think "Toni" instead of "Tony," I suppose); the Veggie Pirate's name very obviously belongs to a female.

So, dear seller-of-office-supplies, if you ring our office go ahead and be a schmuck: press four and listen to the Veggie Pirate politely dismiss you. The do-not-buy-from-piggies list grows ever longer…

*As always, for the sake of privacy, a couple of chat-handles and a fantasy football name substitute for the real names.