As Time Goes By

My uncle is a Fox News watcher. He's a old, white conservative of the standard Kentucky issue. (Just as a frame of reference, he joined the navy in 1946.) He's as right-wing, pro-'Merican as they come.

So, I was shocked when I visited Aunt and Uncle not too long ago, to find the tube tuned to PBS. Bemused (after the shock wore off) I asked, "Whatcha watchin'?"

"Summer Wine," he said. "My show's next," my aunt added, "I love that Hyacinth." Not only were they watching that pinko, lefty station, they were watching a British sitcoms on PBS! They were referring to The Last of the Summer Wine and Keeping Up Appearances; the main character on the latter is Hyacinth Bucket (she insists "Bucket" to be pronounced "bouquet"–great name!).

Now, I adore a certain britcom that I discovered via PBS. Though I'm sure I am thirty-plus years younger than the target audience, I have always loved As Time Goes By. The acting and scripting amazed me from the first time I saw it. The writing was so unlike sitcoms in the U.S. The scripts were tight and clever but very patient. The characters were well drawn and realistically quirky, and they are performed so believably. (I suppose having a true actor–Judi Dench–starring helps; we Yanks tend to cast stand-up comics in the lead roles…)

Seeing that I rarely have a topic of mutual conversation available, I seized on the moment. I said that, yes, I enjoyed both of their shows. The lady that plays Hyacinth is very funny, I agreed. "The one I really like, though, is As Times Goes By." Aunt immediately says, "that's because you are a romantic."

Screaming through cyberspace, I can hear friends' squealing at this thought. TonyN, a romantic! Ha!

You know what, though, Aunt was dead-on. Though I can rationalize my love for that show (writing, acting, etc.), the truth is that the story touched me. The story wasn't sappy or sachrine; it seemed real and beautiful and hopeful. Everyone needs a bit of hope.

Sitcom Moment:A Handwashing Incident

I had a classic sitcom moment at work this week.

Sitcoms, that mixed bag television staple, fail or succeed based on how well they walk that ordinary moment becomes absurd line. Great ones (Seinfeld) tread the line masterfully; they know exactly when normal people and situations must become absurd. Terrible ones (look for the CBS logo) do not know the line even exists. (Quick aside: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia tap dances along some silly-straw line that travels into some other dimension. Fantastic!)


…I am a thorough hand washer. I mean, you'd think I was heading into surgery. But, I'm a haphazard hand drier. We have paper towels in our restroom at the office. One is not quite enough; two is overkill. Usually, the Poor Richard in me only grabs one towel, and the damp hands resulting are between me, my jeans and my desk chair. No big deal.

I exit the restroom. In the hall stands Buck Buck^* and some other guy. "Hey, TonyN, this is Chris from LargeCompanyThatIsAnImportantClient." Reflexly, I extend my hand, "Nice to meet you," and they move on down the hall. Back in my edit bay, horror careens through my head. "Wet hands. Just water! Why didn't I use two towels!?! Oh, god, he'll think-- Obviously, that's what I would think. Go apologize; go explain. Don't be an idiot! Do something to explain it away: hey, this new waterless hand cleaner stuff is neat-o! No, no wait. Gotta have a plan. Maybe I could-- Oooh, I know! First, I'll go back into the bathroom. Then, I'll get a bucket of water…"

Luckily, I fought off the impulse to become a sitcom character. Instead, I went back to editing my little T.V. show, accepting the fact that some stranger thinks that I just pee-shook his hand. Sure, it sucks, but I think I've seen enough sitcoms to know that the outcome of attempting some scheme of explanation or cover-up would have gone sorely awry. I mean, who knows? I could have lost my job, gotten arrested, and been deported had I followed through with sitcom behavior, right?


*Co-owner of company; signer of paychecks. (His fantasy baseball handle is used here for the sake of privacy…)