Overheard… at a Taco Bell

Professor Matthew's description of a KFC outing made me recall an overheard conversation in a Taco Bell a number of years ago:

Three rather provincial, rusticated fellows sitting in a booth behind me.
Guy 1: Liqueur? What the hell's "liqueur" mean?
Guy 2: That's probably French for "liquor."
Guy 3: I dunno. I just drink beer.

Slices of the Timeline:Product Placement

As a television editor who relies on the boob tube to pay the bills, I'm not one of those "blow up your TV" people. However, I do feel responsible to educated my friends to reminded them that television is not reality. (I'll reserve my MythBusters rant for some other time. MythBusters ≠ science; MythBusters = entertainment, people!)

Today's lesson from the Timeline: there's nothing real about reality television.

Reality television lacking reality probably doesn't surprise you but try this one on:

I heard recently from another editor a tidbit about product placement in a reality television show. The show in question is not one of those reality game shows (like Survivor or Big Brother, etc.). It's a day-in-the-life show much like American Chopper or Miami Ink. One episode was partially financed by a major fast food chain. Apparently, the individuals on the show were eating lunch and, in exchange for the paycheck, the fast food logos were predominately displayed.

Even in my skepticism was astonished! They product placed on a reality television program? On reality TV! They setup where these workaday folks ate for payola?!?

Slices of the Timeline:Important Editorial Decision

The things I overhear in my job! A co-worker conversation:

        "What about 'schlong'? Do you think 'schlong' needs to be bleeped?"
        "Um, I don't think so…"

Eye of the Beholder

We have a print disagreement in our office. No, this situation doesn't involve lasers and toner; it is a disagreement over a framed decoration.

In one of the edit bays is an innocuous, framed print. It has been hanging for a number of months now, but one of my co-workers, insists that it is hanging in the wrong direction. It is clearly, Mr. Difficult^* says, a landscape. Another co-worker, Buck Buck^**, cites the position of the hanger on the frame and the signature of the artist to prove it is hanging correctly. (Aside: unlike the infantile atmosphere of my previous job, this is the closest thing to "office politics" we have…thankfully!)

This week, I entered the fray. I had never paid much attention to the print, but it was moved after a redecoration. I also suddenly saw a landscape turned on its side. "Who is to say the artist signed horizontally? I think Mr. Difficult is correct. It was hanging wrong. Maybe we should turn it when we re-hang it?"

The cold war was over.

I had taken a side, which left Buck Buck to find allies. The only other person in our small company, The Veggie Pirate^***, was not involving herself in this conflict. (I guess a wise pirate knows rough waters when she sees them.) So, who was to help? Would the print soon find itself hanging on its side in defeat?

Damn you Google.

Using his abilities to read nearly indecipherable signatures and keen search engine skills, Buck Buck presented us with facts. The artist is Noah Li-Leger. The print in question is "Solar Emssion II." Now remember, Mr. Difficult and I didn't have the benefit of knowing the title of the piece. Leaning the head far left, see the landscape?

So, the print was correct in the first place. I withdraw my opinion and status returns to quo, right? Eh, no. Mr. Difficult has decided we need to hang the print in landscape anyway. He likes it better that way. Take that artists! You sold it; you gave up a voice in the display! Um, right? Right?

Maybe this is a discussion better left to those more equipped to handle it, but "what if?" What if The Louvre displayed Mona Lisa upside down? Or David was suspended on his head? I mean parody is one thing, but purposefully hanging a work incorrectly!

For now the cold war has returned. The print remains in limbo and off the wall…


*Since I am disinclined to use real names or full names here, I'm replacing his name with a nickname. For the record, I did not invent this moniker. "Mr. Difficult" is a handle he often employs on the Internets…
**Again, I didn't invent this one…
***Her forum nickname…

Definition of Loser

From the Oxford American Dictionary:

los•er |'loōzər|
noun

• a person or thing that loses or has lost something, esp. a game or contest.
• a person who accepts defeat with good or bad grace, as specified : we won fair and square—they should concede that and be good losers.
• a person or thing that is put at a disadvantage by a particular situation or course of action : children are the losers when politicians keep fiddling around with education.
• informal a person who fails frequently or is generally unsuccessful in life : a ragtag community of rejects and losers.
• informal a person who watches a Star Trek episode at approximately 9 o'clock on a Friday night, esp. when said episode was recorded on his or her Tivo.
• Bridge a card that is expected to be part of a losing trick.

Slices of the Timeline:16:9 Is Bigger Than 4:3

"Hey, TonyN," you say, "give me a glimpse into the glamorous life of a television editor!"

"This is the third episode in a row of [insert name of a moderately popular true-crime series on a network aimed at women] that has breast enhancement surgery significantly in the plot." Sigh. "Now, please, turn off your TV. Thank you."

("No, I won't tell you when they are going to air!")

Childhood Delicacy

I have no culinary skills. I can attempt to follow a recipe, sure, but I have little understanding of how the ingredients are reacting together. Therefore, I have no ability to improvise.

I recently discovered a relic from my childhood. In my desk drawer along with assorted photos, letters and cards, I found a well-worn recipe card. It was my grandmother's recipe for Russian Coffee Cake. The cake, a brown sugary delicacy, I adored as a child.

Yesterday, I attempted to recreate it. Surprisingly, I came close, but it was not quite right. I think I know why. My grandmother, I suppose like most good cooks, tended to augment her recipes. People who understand things and do not simply follow directions. They are capable of improvising and creating new things out of the old. I can relate in my profession but not in cooking. In the kitchen I just try to follow the directions…and hope.

Related tangent:
My cousin, Trish, bakes the best approximation of Grandma's beloved Christmas sugar cookies. Many in the family have the recipe, but most do not know of Grandma's improvisation. I discovered the secret by accident one day not too long before she died: more cream of tartar.